It's a damn cold night...

Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
いつか失ってしまうのかな。薄れてゆく笑顔と君を守りたい。
-- D-technolife

If fate is a wheel, then we are the sand that is crushed between the cogs.

Don't judge a life by one difficult season.

独自并不代表孤单,在一群人中狂笑着有时更寂寞。
-- 吴庆康

At times it may not even seem rational, but the heart has a computing ability that is far more accurate and far more precise than anything within the limits of rational thought.
-- Deepak Chopra
于是我让孤独更孤独,有一种不是悲伤的悲伤,才是刻骨铭心的悲伤。
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.
-- St Francis.
People's actions are influenced by their expectations. People respond not just to what is happening now, but to what they anticipate will happen in the future.
-- Sloman
不管你会不会忘了我,我只想告诉你一个秘密。
--《不能说的·秘密》

Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind.
-- Deepak Chopra

The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death but when I stand in front of you yet you don't know that I love you.
-- Tagore
Do do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.
-- Matt 6:34

まだ不器用に笑うね まだ悲しみが似合うから
キミに降る痛みを 拭ってあげたい すべて I for you
-- I For You

the optimistic pessimist

supposedly an adult, she thinks like an adult (too much, if you ask me). deep inside, she is nothing but a little girl, with her little lofty dreams and ideals. and oops, she is breaking them, one by one.
more often than not, she is just an angsty emo kid.

she is only but
a passer-by,

an onlooker,
a walking shadow.

and this girl can't stop writing.

she stalks

|| cyn bea bao zou mel ||
|| joan weepz ||
|| blockc yeanching lehia kexi zhenlin horace alvin dina sandra becca tzehee ||
|| cruzteng peifen dasmondkoh ||
|| xiaozhu xiaogui sunxiezhi ashin kangyong ||
|| derrick jinglun stefsun natho lawrencewong ||
|| feliciachin joannepeh jeanetteaw sharonaw ||
|| xiaohan hyr chimkang mingde dannyyeo ||
|| xuyunling alvinology mrbrown esther ||
|| drbondar psychdigest ||
|| kfdrawing iwrotethisforyou thingsweforget ||

After all, what is in the past but what we choose to remember? They can choose not to hide it, to take what's broken, to feel the pain and know that it will heal. They know where happiness lies, not in a cave or a country, but in love and the freedom to give and take what has been there all along.
-- The Bonesetter's Daughter

she watches on

Others desire to experience the blessedness of giving, but we often frustrate them by refusing their help.


“你有心事吗?”
“或许有一天,我会告诉你吧。”
--《不能说的·秘密》

she holds on

 Memories were also a way of looking in a mirror, but it was a jagged mirror of broken glass, one that cast imperfect reflections. Like shards, these memories drew blood.

February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 January 2012 February 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 July 2015 September 2015 October 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 May 2016 June 2016 August 2016 September 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 January 2017 February 2017 April 2017 May 2017 August 2017 September 2017 October 2017 November 2017 December 2017 January 2018 February 2018 April 2018 June 2018 July 2018 September 2018 October 2018 November 2018 December 2018 February 2019 April 2019 June 2019 August 2019 October 2019 December 2019 January 2020 February 2020 March 2020 April 2020 May 2020 July 2020 November 2020 February 2021 April 2021 July 2021 September 2021 November 2021 March 2022

she never gets

永远不会交的功课 || 永远不会实现的愿望

|| you ||

Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself... Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.
-- Deepak Chopra

she thanks

Designer : Wei Jun
Brushes : Deviantart - Spy Glass

I don't know, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm a pair of eyes and ears, and I'm just trying to stay safe and make sense of what's happening. I know what to avoid, what to worry about.I'm like those kids who live with gunfire going off around them. I don't want pain. I don't want to die. I don't want to see other people around me die. But I don't have anything left inside me to figure out where I fit in or what I want. If I want anything, it's to know what's possible to want.
-- The Bonesetter's Daughter

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

Tuesday, July 29, 2003
withers away @ 4:18 pm

it's been quite some time ever since i wrote here.... quite a lot of stuff has happened liaoz..... ermz... we screwed up our arts fest concert... the matinee show was a mad rush n in the evening show, when our conductor came to conduct us, we still screwed it up... sigh... we were v dejected n went back to the music rm n started to cry... coz our syf was in 2 days time... BUT... we stilll got gold for syf!!!!!!!!!! i suppose everything will b ok by now..... anyway we sec 4s dun need to go for choir anymore, but we r having a celebration on sat.. tink it'll b quite nice..... well.. even tho we dun haf choir anymore, we'll still b as bz as ever... coz we haf alot of mock exams.. need to keep staying back until like 5pm.... sigh..... diz is a hectic lifestyle... going mad soon..... mayb i'm already mad... well..... will come back when i haf the time.. now gotta do amaths now....

It's something Mystical

Thursday, July 17, 2003
withers away @ 4:10 pm

oh i'm so excited!!!!! tml is our celebration for youth day!!! n we haf arts fest rehearsal in the morning.. so wun b joining the whole sch for quite some time until the funfair,when my class has a henna stall cum garage sale! ok i tink i'm going mad but anyway... i haf already bought a necklace for 3 bucks when i looked thru the pile of stuff for the sale the day before yest i tink... not bad leh... lots of cute stuff like comics, soft toys etc.. i tink it willl b quite nice... somehow i'm quite excited abt diz yr's arts fest.. i tink coz 2 days after our arts fest will b our syf!!!!!! so if we do well for arts fest, den will b more or less assured that we'll do well for syf tooo... so arts fest v impt.... n anyway no chance to b involved in arts fest anymore.. since sec 4 liaoz... anyway .... muz take care not to fall sick... if not sure die... but i'm sure we will make it one lolz... i'm v confident in ourselves yoz. anyway... we still haf alot of hwk nyoooooo.. i'm going to die quite soon.. it's like when i'm ahead in a particular subj, i'm lacking behind 2 wks in another.... at diz rate i'lll never b on time... n still got ss test, bio test, chem test, phy test... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH oh well.. juz gotta live wif it... gotta go nyo... oh yah... lao gong gave me her 5566 cd for safe keeping for the time being.... hohohohoho i've been listening to it ever since... n listening to it again n again n again n again....

It's something Mystical

Tuesday, July 08, 2003
withers away @ 4:07 pm

oh well guess wad... MORE HWK... argh.. now we haf schedules for doing prelim papers of other schs or timed trials or tests for... let's see.... ss, bio, phy, amaths, eng.. soon after i guess we'll haf erm... chem, geog, chinese mebbe... wow... tt's so fun rite... 1 paper for each subj every wk... tt's so little hwk.. but i noe diz is all necessary.. who ask me is sec 4 now??i suppose it's lidat for everyone out there who r sec 4s... i juz had a chinese kao cha on 3A... sigh... nvm... well wad else happened?? oh yah i went for the syf opening on sat.. was really nice... at least i had some time to wear some nicer clothes.... haha i wore a halter on tt day... haha:D well anyway i reached home quite late loh.. 11.15 to 11.30pm lidat... when i was on the bus on the way home, there was diz whole bunch of guys who look like gangsters... they were laughing n pushing one another all the time.. lucky they nv get off the same stop as me... haha..... i noe i not pretty lah budden still will scared one mah.. ok nvm... i gtg liao bye dearies muacks

It's something Mystical

Thursday, July 03, 2003
withers away @ 4:15 pm

hmmmmm dun really noe wad to say... but i'm still slacking nyo... i really can't find any motivation to do any work at all.. sometimes i do them, but without noeing wad i do them for... i haf an aim, but tt doesnt motivate me to do any work.. hmmmmm diz has nv happened to me b4... someone heLp!!!
well... really nothing much happen... but we haf quite a short time to syf... left like 3 wks.... n to our arts fest oso...... we r performing the same stuff.... coz they r juz 2 days apart?!? well anyway we r doing fine... havent peak yet but not in the bottom oso... which is good... now is the time when we muz start to go uphill so can peak on syf day..
well.... wad else... let moi tink.... we dun exactly haf much hwk.. but we haf loads of prelim papers to do... by a certain deadline.. argh... i mean there r so many prelim papers to do k... i mean my frenz frm other schs r saying the same stuff.... argh.. n everyone seems to b so ever reluctant n restless when we tok abt hwk... it's really draining nyo...i tink i used up all my strength during the midyrs n in the pathetic 2 wk hols when i was doing hwk everyday... argh... diz is pathetic
tt's all folks for now..

It's something Mystical

Tuesday, July 01, 2003
withers away @ 4:20 pm

ermz.. juz realized diz new blogger thingy.. erm.. wad shld i say.. hmmmmm.... it's into the second day of sch, but we haf so much hwk k.. coz we hafta prepare for our prelims n os nOw.... erm.... who cares.. budden we hafta work damn hard.. so tt we can all do well.. it's all for our good... :P
well.... actually i haf nothing much to say.. juz tt diz few days actually quite free.. budden.. sigh.. muz work vvvvv hard.. budden i'm slacking now loh... ok nvm...

It's something Mystical